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Perceptions - what makes you stand out?


Every time I look at people judging others and creating perceptions about them. Sometimes they judge people on behavior, what people do and what appears to them as what people are doing.. Its just very confusing, I have been lurking around this for many years - as to what people think about me and sometimes what I think about them... 

One thing, which everyone judges someone else, is that they want them to behave like them or better than them - that’s perceived image. On the other hand they want people to know "what they are" and that’s projected image. The mismatch between projected vs perceived causes misjudgment about the person. Sometimes this mismatch grows beyond the appropriate tolerance levels, it then most probably results into the judgment being biased. People make up the mind about the person as being useless or super-star. 

At times these triggers are caused by a single action. Since people have already made up their mind about the person, so it will have a view about person being stupid or useless. Usually this single action either causes people to give up on others and or to start ignoring others.

Most of the time we usually don't care about perceived image but keep working on projected image, by way of keeping in mind our ideal hero and improving to match ideal personality. People do think differently - I have learned how people perceived me being stubborn, arrogant and rigid - just because I did not behave the way they wanted me to behave, while I have all right to believe I have been right all the time. This tension between balancing your appearance vs what you are is something I have learned to work on. This does not mean that you should stop being what you are...

I have faced these issues several times, where I did not like some act of people and have taken drastic action based on instant reaction and influenced by rush of hour. But that's something not right if you are put up in that situation again and again - so most probably that means that there is somehting in me which is not right. I have learned to find the right balance and take out positive hints and start over again to think through and introspect my acts. It has not only helped me to keep myself calm but also helped me understand others' point of view. People are always right the way they react because they have the right context and right opinion which they have formed over period of time. One really can't change that perceived image overnight, someone has to understand why that image was formed, why people thought that way and why they reacted that way. Its like trust, the way you build it over time and it can shatter in pieces by an act of stupidity.

I believe "personal perceived image" is a very subjective act and it builds over a period of time. If you start doing what might fix it, within reasonable limits, as to what others like, express in a manner what others can understand and bring behavioral changes over the period of time, then things might settle down for better relations :-)

One of the examples - we used to play Age of Empires during evening and people thought that our team did not have a lot of work and plays during work time, no one bother to check that we used to work pretty late night - because they were not exposed to that fact since they left pretty early from the office. So what we did is to move our Age of Empire game play time to later in evening and worked through normal hours, it did cause some of the inconvenience because we did not get that much required break, but then we later introduced Friday night gaming and other stuff... It was just a perceived image which got better over the period of time and then we could resume what we did earlier but it was 3 months affair :-)

On the other hand - when ever I had a perception about some one and others did not agree to my views, instead of being firm on my opinion I tried to get involved more in their world to figure out my perception being right or not.

People never change the way they are, but people can certainly change the way they interact with others.